Boden community

Blogger and PR Catherine Warrilow has finally found her work/life balance. She discusses how her dreams developed as the years crept on and shares her advice for finding your own equilibrium…

When I was five I wanted to be a writer.  On a Sunday morning I would sit on my parents bedroom floor and copy articles out of the supplements that they didn’t want to read – reproducing them in my bestest most neatest handwriting, word for word.

Catherine at five years old

When I was seven I wanted to be Sally from Sally’s Secret, the Shirley Hughes book.  I built myself a home behind a huge tree in the garden; laying out napkins and plates and inviting my dollies to tea.  I added little vases with daisies in and cut up grapes into tiny pieces for my guests.

When I was nine I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world to have my very own flowerbed in the garden, complete with snap dragons, miniature strawberries and space for vegetables to grow.

When I was ten I wanted to be a journalist so I joined the Newsround Press Pack as a reporter and began tailing unsuspecting passersby around the village, collecting evidence and documenting it accordingly.

When I was 17 I wanted to own a tea shop – mis-matched vintage crockery, cupcakes (before cupcakes became uber trendy I’d like to add) and a pinny of course.  I’d be the lovely tea shop lady and people would have all the time in the world to sit and drink cup after cup of tea.

When I was 20 I discovered Sarah Jessica Parker and wanted to be her.  I started my quest by investing in beautiful notepads, a dictaphone and a laptop.  The penthouse apartment would have to wait.  I was going to write a book.

Jacqueline Cross Photography

When I was 24 I wanted to be a mother.  That maternal instinct kicked in and I wanted to carry a child, go through labour and become a person who was responsible for caring for a new life.

Now, at the age of 32, it’s funny to look back over the hopes and dreams that made me smile, cry, fall down, get back up again, run away and come back again.  And also to see how those early fascinations have developed into a career, passion and lifestyle.

By day, I run a small but growing PR agency – writing articles for the very same newspapers that I once carefully copied stories from.

In my spare time (not really very spare) I try to remember to water the courgettes and green beans growing in the garden.  I think we had seven courgettes this year which is a vast improvement on my success rate of two in 2010.

I don’t live in that penthouse apartment but I did find my Big – and this one didn’t leave me standing at the altar.  I do have an accomplished collection of pretty notepads; the dictaphone got bumped for an iPhone and I own several pairs of shoes that Carrie would more than approve of.

I also catch myself gazing out of the window, all Bradshaw-esque, as I plan my next blog post – having chosen to write about parenting over Prada as a hobby.

We don’t own a tea shop but it’s a day dream that might become a reality one day – especially if my husband has anything to do with it – if he does, it will have a bookshop in it too.  And as I’ve grown up I’ve decided it absolutely needs to serve wine as well.

Jacqueline Cross Photography

But by far the most important role I play is that of mummy.  To a small, three year old comedian called Noah – lover of all things that travel by road, rail or air, obsessive eater of apples and total crowd pleaser – a small three year old that makes every day extremely entertaining – and busy of course.

I actually quite like being in my thirties – I wasn’t someone who hid under their Cath Kidson throw and refused to accept that I was really and truly an adult.  Rather I embraced comfy nights on the sofa under my Slankey and was content with the occasional night out with good wine and good friends and felt comfortable in my own fair skin.

It’s constant work in progress; achieving a happy medium between building a growing business and managing a happy home.  There are three key things that I’ve come to accept and have most certainly learned from.

The first is that a clutter free mind is far more important than a clutter free home.  If it’s 11pm and you vowed to clean the kitchen but just haven’t managed it yet, then go to bed – an extra hour in bed will stand you in far better stead for the following day than having stacked the dishwasher.

Second; if you are feeding the ducks and don’t notice that your child is throwing in whole slices of bread at a time because you are busy checking your emails then the work life balance is wrong.  I have found the key to calm in doing one thing at a time.  If it’s urgent, someone will call you and you can arrange to call them back when you are finished throwing small pieces of bread to the ducks.

Finally, good friends are worth their weight in gold.  When they call and say ‘how are you’, take off the auto response which says ‘great thanks and you?’ and reply honestly.  If potty training is driving you to despair say so.  If your boss has had you in tears again say so.  A good chat is the best therapy a girl can ask for.  Alongside chocolate of course.

Oh, and I do wish I had a secret den behind a big tree still – it could be very useful when you need a little bit of quiet time…. maybe I’ll build one.

Written by Catherine Warrilow who writes at Baby Genie and runs PR agency Publicity Oxford.  Catherine lives with her husband Tom and son Noah in Abingdon.